- (1:31) SPECIAL COMMENT: Just like American democracy, I too am available for sale for $787,500,000. Since the SCOTUS Citizens United decision in 2010, it’s been the corporations’ world and we just live in it, unless they kill us. And corporations gonna corpo-RATE. Five years ago a company bought three-quarters of Dominion for 38 million. It just got a return of 1567%. “Money is accountability,” said its lawyers. True — if YOU got the money. If you aren’t, what you got was Tucker Carlson last night predicting a race war with impunity.
- Spare me the nonsense about Fox knowing it did wrong. Dominion didn’t even get a retraction, let alone an apology. “We acknowledge the court’s rulings finding certain claims about Dominion to be false.” That’s the 21st Century equivalent of “The White Star Line acknowledges that RMS Titanic missed its estimated time of arrival at Pier 54 in New York.”
- (10:25) IN CASE THAT ISN’T BAD ENOUGH: The Democrats are using the incapacitation of Dianne Feinstein as the excuse for not subpoenaing Clarence Thomas. Because the Democrats are adhering to the rules of Flag Football while the Republicans are all armed, and if they needed a vote to subpoena Sonia Sotomayor they would push THEIR Dianne Feinstein down a flight of stairs to get it.
- (17:49) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: McConnell makes a fascist funny; Greene insists Chump never said anything racist about Covid, then repeats all the racist things he said.
The full headline at the linked webpage deserves a laugh: “Man Goes Viral For Destroying Walmart’s Supply Of Busch Light, Though Most Commenters Think He Meant To Go For Bud Light”. Eat your heart out, Onion.
It also reminds me of the joke on M*A*S*H (“The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan”):
Frank: Sir, I think the Chinese have captured Major Houlihan.
Col. Potter: I see. So, naturally, you shot Captain Hunnicutt.
For some reason, W’s invasion of Iraq reminded me of the same interchange.
- And Chump’s new NFTs have pissed off … Tomi Lahren and Baked Alaska?
I am a Trump supporter but these NFTs are just too much.
— Tomi Lahren (@TomiLahren) April 18, 2023
i can’t believe i went to prison for an nft salesman pic.twitter.com/yh5sE1kdDg
— Baked Alaska (@bakedalaska) April 18, 2023
I think Baked’s real first name is Half, and that Baked is his middle name.
- (21:50) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Elected Florida state official Jimmy Patronis says Bud Light should be trying to kiss Kid Rock’s ass. Jim Jordan tried to paint Manhattan as a crime hellscape by trotting out a woman whose boyfriend was murdered … in New Jersey. And Kara Swisher has the utter gall to ask Jen Psaki why there haven’t been more Republicans on her MSNBC show. “What’s the problem? Four shows and no Republicans.” This is one of the questions that has led American media, politics, and society, into the sinkhole it’s in.
- (33:21) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Four puppies in the Bahamas trying to survive Parvo, and Pawtcake Refuge
- (34:42) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It’s not just Fox. Cable News corrupts completely. In fact, NEWS News corrupts completely. Let me tell you stories of what it did to radio’s Paul Harvey, and Rachel Maddow.
That’s all the damage for now. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck.