Happy Wednesday, everybody. So let’s talk about Glenique Frank, that’s the chosen name of a runner who ran the London Marathon. Frank credited girl power for beating nearly 14,000 women in the female category, but here’s the rub.
Frank recently competed in the Tokyo, Boston, Berlin, Chicago and New York marathons as a male. Hmm, because those races forced him/her to register under the name and gender on his/her passport. But hey, it’s that kind of girl power that lets you push through any race, even if you got kicked in the nuts. Even the East German swim team thinks that guy is a guy. Remember them, but if you don’t think that’s a woman, you’ll be labeled a bigot, obviously.
Even if your eyesight is 20/20, your mindset is 18/20. And speaking of 2020 here’s what Frank used to look like just a few years ago. So Glenique’s a real Wonder Woman, as in, you wonder how is this a woman? As for the London race, some women called out Frank, saying the switch allowed him to finish way above his mediocre status. Former Olympian Mara Yamauchi called it wrong and unfair, which is the same thing they said when me and Tyrus smoked that Girl Scout troop in dodgeball. But what does Mara know anyway? I bet when she took a drug test, she actually peed sitting down.
Now, in 2023 this attitude has been labeled transphobic, but in the sporting world, that’s another word for honest. So here’s a message to women in sports: train hard, stay focused, sacrifice months or even years of your life and lose to a dude in a wig. Your efforts will be as worthless as marriage advice from Geraldo, but he’s earned it.
Meanwhile, Frank defended the decision to run as a female, adding, “If they really think I’ve stolen the place [of a female runner], I don’t mind giving the medal back because I’ll run again next year for charity. But I don’t want to apologize because I didn’t do anything wrong.” True, he really hasn’t done anything illegal. I mean, it’s kind of like claiming to be someone else in order to get into law school. I guess it’s stolen valor, and yet we keep seeing this stuff over and over.
Last month, a champion cyclist named Hannah Arensman quit the sport after she was beaten by a man. That man was Tiffany Thomas, who said beating a bunch of women made him feel like a superhero. Sorry that I said him, but in my world, it’s not kind to go along with someone’s narcissistic delusion. That’s why I laughed when Jesse said he’s looking forward to moving to 8 p.m., but I know how human biology works. It’s why my hands were so calloused in high school.
It was one thing when Milton Berle and the Monty Python guys dressed up like women, but they didn’t claim to be women. And I do like a good drag show. I mean, you should see Larry Kudlow in pumps, but not when it replaces fourth grade show and tell. And now pre-op strapping males are taking medals from women.
And if you dare question it, you know what you’ll be called. Here’s trans swimmer Lia Thomas calling former teammates and critics like Riley Gaines misogynistic for not wanting to compete against him/her.
LIA THOMAS: They’re like, ‘oh, we respect Lia as a woman, as a trans woman or whatever. We respect her identity. We just don’t think it’s fair.’… You can’t really have that and that sort of half support where you’re like, ‘Oh, I respect her as a woman here, but not here.’… They’re using the guise of feminism to sort of push trans phobic beliefs.
Hmm. That was after Gaines was recently assaulted at San Francisco State University for standing up for women’s rights. The administrators supported her attackers, proving they’re as full of crap as their city sidewalks. This is true misogyny.
The fact is, men have an innate athletic advantage over women. Well, maybe not all men, but that’s why cheaters take testosterone, because it makes you bigger, stronger and faster. While taking estrogen makes you unable to parallel park.
ANNOUNCER: A sexist would say!
It’s terrible. Don’t clap. But that’s why all these stories are of trans women demolishing actual women in sport. You don’t see biological women claiming to be men and competing against actual men, although they could beat us in curling because it’s a sport where you sweep.
ANNOUNCER: Wow, yet another sexist would say!
These sexists are really busy today. But face it, the unspeakable truth may be that there are dudes who just weren’t that good enough to compete against other men, so they decided to beat up on a bunch of girls. Their egos are bigger than the bulges in their pants, and who need steroids when you have testicles?
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